Saturday, April 29, 2017

the *actual best* chocolate chip cookies

Welp, I knew that I would be inconsistent with writing in here, but I definitely didn't anticipate it taking a year and a half to write again. 😁 Now that my loinfruit is at an age where she can entertain herself with nothing but a tutu and some "ballerina music", I have more time so I hope to get back on track with the whole blogging thing (not that a handful of entries spattered across the last few years qualifies as ever being "on track", but hey whatever).

So today's subject is probably my favorite tried-and-true recipe. The one that I will pass down to future generations. And also to the two of you lovely people reading this post. :) I get a lot of requests for this recipe but I don't have a nice copy written down anywhere, so that's partially why I'm doing this. These cookies are the best chocolate chip cookies I've ever personally experienced, but they're also completely catered to my own tastes. I like a cookie that's crispy on the outside but chewy on the inside. A nice, hearty cookie. You can tweak this recipe as you see fit, adding additional stir-ins, such as toffee pieces, nuts, or additional kinds of chocolate.

I typically repay my non-monetary debts in the form of baked goods, which was the main motivation behind making these cookies with Lily last weekend. The person we were baking for doesn't like any extras, so this is just the classic recipe.

I've tried countless chocolate chip cookie recipes until I finally just Frankensteined this one together. So add less/more flour depending on how dense you like 'em, feel free to add less/more vanilla, etc. Just go forth, make cookies, and be happy.




The Process

 the usual suspects (bananas not included)


 I went through a phase of adding googly eyes to household appliances and this was my favorite application so it still remains 😃


raw dough because I am a bad mother (or the best, take your pick)


the finished product artfully presented on generic paper towels


PSA: Chocoholism is a genetic trait


Ingredients:

  • 1 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 3/4 cup white sugar
  • 1 1/4 cups packed brown sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 2 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 2 teaspoons hot water
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
  • additional stir-ins such as chopped walnuts, toffee bits, etc (optional)

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C)
  2. Cream together the butter, white sugar and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Dissolve baking soda in hot water. Add to batter along with salt. Stir in flour, chocolate chips, and any other extras.
  3. Refrigerate dough for 20-30 minutes or until mostly firm. 
  4. Use an ice cream scoop to drop even scoopfuls onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Gently press down each cookie with the back of a spoon.
  5. Bake for about 12 minutes in the preheated oven, or until edges are browned. Let cool on cookie sheet for 5-10 minutes before transferring to cooling rack.

Monday, January 12, 2015

life and donuts

I saw this on Reddit today and I really liked it. I've kind of been wondering how I would handle eventual questions from Li'l Lil that normally parents use religion to explain. I hope that this will help.


life and donuts

I can honestly understand why religion is so pervasive in our society. It helps answer the tough questions that otherwise may have somewhat discouraging answers. It's so much easier to call something "God's Plan" or believe in Heaven/Hell to give life purpose. But sometimes it's actually a relief to me that there isn't a plan. I'm not screwing up my life unless I personally believe that I am. If I don't achieve anything that has an enormous impact on the world, that's okay. Very few people actually do. And while I can strive to make the world a better place as best as I can, I'm not failing anyone by following my chosen path.

This realization is sort of what made me change my life plan when I was younger. I always wanted to be a writer, and I still do. But my priorities changed. My main goal became to have a family because to me that's what life is about. In high school, I would have scoffed at the notion of becoming a stay at home mom but now I would do it in a heartbeat if we could afford it. I know that having a good job and a college education is important because it makes life comfortable....and I still feel guilt over dropping out. But honestly, for the most part I'm still happy with the decision I made 6 years ago (or is it 7 years?).

But I'm veering off course. Essentially, having a kid has really made me think about all the things that were handled with religion when I grew up. If babycakes decides she wants to be Christian, so be it. Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, whatever. I'll support her. But it's not like husband and I will be hiding our views from her. So when she asks the tough questions, what am I going to say? It's easy in theory to say that I will just be honest with her and not sugarcoat the facts of life. However when I have a four year old crying over the death of a pet or family member, what can I say that will provide comfort in her very safe little world? Or am I not supposed to supply comfort? Should I just tell her like it is? It's also going to be tricky to balance this with what she will inevitably learn/hear about when she's at her grandparents' houses. Should I treat God like Santa Claus? Tell her he exists to make it less confusing when her grandparents or classmates bring it up and then let her work out for herself that it's just a bunch of bull?
She's going to ask questions about religion that I will have to answer too. Like how do I explain Christmas? I feel like a hypocrite still celebrating it even though I'm not a Christian anymore, despite re-labeling it Secular Christmas in our house. Easter without religion doesn't even exist. But I love holidays! The religious stuff never meant a lot to me as a kid anyway. It's more of celebrating the season. Easter = spring, fertility, etc. I want to give her an Easter basket but what will I say the holiday is about? I don't want her to be a little ignorant dum-dum. I guess I can always explain things like, "Now, lots of people celebrate _____ because they believe that ________ happened. Your dad and I don't really believe that, but we celebrate this season anyway because candy/parties/presents/food." Haha. Just kidding. Sort of.
This stuff has just been weighing on me lately. I know that the number of atheists/agnostics in the world just keeps increasing as time goes on and technology advances, but in our immediate world there are very few. Even those who aren't practicing generally have some vaguely Christian beliefs lingering around in the background of their lives.

This has been a bit heavier than all my other posts, and I apologize. I didn't really mean to go off on a tangent, but it's been on my mind. Since I'm pretty sure the majority of my readership comes from family, I've also probably alienated any readers I may have.

I just want to do right by my loinfruit without compromising our family's values. Which I suppose is essentially the definition of parenting, when you get down to it.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

resolutions? resolutions.

I had a baby! Holy shit. I have a rare free moment because husband agreed to watch her for the night and I want to write because whiskey.
Not that it counts because it was Fireball. And only two shots. It's not like I have self-control or anything, it's more like that's all that was left in the bottle. Alas.

I've really only been writing in here if I happened to have to have a recipe/theme of some kind, but unfortunately my once semi-creativity has been replaced by sheer unadulterated laziness. I tried working on my novel yesterday. God, was it cringey. I only got through re-reading/editing a few pages before I had to stop. I really want to finish it and everything, but it's looking pretty bleak.

Maybe I could type up some New Years resolutions for this year? Usually I don't bother because I know I won't follow through, but I'm a mother now so that must mean I'm responsible, right? Right??

1. Don't get pregnant again.
This is a big one. Seriously, Natalie...don't do it. You can't handle it. Maybe in two, three or ten years, but NOT this year. Just no.

2. Lose some weight.
I don't care how much, really. Just some. Preferably enough to fit into my pre-maternity clothes. That's my main motivation. As comfortable as yoga pants are, there are certain social functions where they are frowned upon. Weddings, funerals, theatre shows, etc.

3. Write 4,000 more words in aforementioned novel.
Currently at 23,667. So basically I only have 1/3 written. So this word count isn't even enough to bring me up to halfway done, but I like to keep resolutions realistic and therefore actually attainable.

4. Finally get the hang of winged eyeliner.
For someone pretty obsessed with makeup, this has always eluded me. Not sure why when there are n00bs out there who do better than I. This year I will conquer it. My Everest.

5. Take the Christmas tree down before February.
This is asking a lot, I know. I don't know why I think I can accomplish it with a baby when I never was even able to without one. But perhaps this is the year.

6. Eat more *real* meals as opposed to the pre-packaged crap I gravitate towards.
Because....mother, responsibility, setting a good example, healthy lifestyle, blah blah blah.

7. Stop eating so much Caesar Salad/Crazy Bread from Little Caesar's.
Actually, no. I take it back. That stuff is the highlight of my effing week.

and finally....

8. Keep the house mostly clean consistently.
Because with a baby, I have learned that people are about 90% more likely to stop by unexpectedly.
There are other reasons why this will improve my general quality of life, but this is the primary motivation. Gotta keep up the illusion that we're not slovenly.

Welp, that's all I suppose. Back to watching the Woody Harrelson episode of SNL. It's probably my favorite of the season...and I'm saying that almost sober! (the two shots didn't take long to wear off, unfortunately.)

So...

<3 natalie

Thursday, June 12, 2014

hiatus

Yeesh, I haven't written since the freaking Superbowl? I'm terrible. Of course it's not like I have high readership. It's pretty much just my mom. Actually, no, probably not even her...she has more of a life than I do.

I haven't been cooking/baking as much as I used to. Pregnancy has made me lazy. Or rather, pregnancy has finally validated my long-lived penchant for laziness. It will go away once I have a baby, right? Right??

I'm still waiting for the pregnancy nesting urge to kick in, but once it does, hopefully I'll actually have some interesting content to post. Like nursery photos! Or something. No promises though. Only if it turns out in an aesthetically pleasing way.

Welp, that's my lame-ass post. Hopefully a more interesting one will follow within a few days. Or weeks. A month, tops.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

superbowl seahawks trifle

Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that football isn't really my bag. Soccer, sure. Rugby, kind of. Football? Not so much. I'm the type of person who watches the Superbowl just for the commercials, and then switches to the Puppy Bowl during all the actual game-playing. It's probably because it's one of the few sports I never played as a kid so the rules are kind of gibberish to me. This has led to an apathetic attitude when it comes to the whole thing.

But this year was different! I couldn't really avoid football this season because the Seahawks kicked some serious ass. (And also every single person in the PNW is obsessed with them.) So when the husband and I were invited to a Superbowl party, we decided to actually participate in the festivities for once. And when my MIL asked me to bring a dessert, I figured this was the perfect excuse to get creative and actually come up with something original instead of just finding a recipe on Pinterest like my lazy ass usually does.

I knew I wanted to make a trifle, because 1.) trifle is amazing & 2.) it's easy to customize. I decided to use angel food cake as the base and to also dye it blue, because why the hell not? I also knew I wanted to include pudding, because then I could dye that green and make everything oh-so-themey. Unfortunately the dead of winter is not the greatest time to find blue/green fruit (especially at my local dump of a Cost Cutter) so I ended up getting blueberry pie filling as the flavor component. Not sure if I would do so again, but it worked out okay. I needed some sort of texture included, so I crushed some graham crackers for that purpose. I only sprinkled a little bit, but in retrospect I should've used more because you could barely even tell there were graham cracker crumbs in it.

The photos are not exactly wonderful, but here's how I did it:

I thought about making angel food cake from scratch...but quickly decided against it. So I just used a mix.

 Because you have to be careful about over-mixing angel food, I beat it until it was moistened and then added the food coloring as quickly as I could. I actually wanted a darker color, but I didn't want to mess with the consistency so I stopped adding food coloring while I was ahead.

 As you can see, definitely NOT a tube pan like what you're supposed to use. I realized a little belatedly that I didn't have one, so I just made do with a 9" springform. Should've used my 10", but oh well.

 Mmm...so...delicious?
 
The whole springform thing didn't work out so well because I didn't use parchment paper to line it. I should've. I had to cut the cake out of the pan and made a bit of a mess.
 
The ingredients. (Just ignore the gin and wine in the background.)

The puddings! Cost Cutter only had the sugar free/fat free version of cheesecake pudding, which changes the texture and flavor of it. So I got vanilla as well so I could mix the two in hopes of salvaging it.

When making the cheesecake pudding (left), I cut the milk in half to make it a thicker consistency. I made vanilla (right) as instructed on the box.

To make them green, I dyed the milk before mixing it into the mix.

You can see what I mean about the gross consistency with the cheesecake flavor, while the vanilla is nice and velvety (as pudding should be!). But everything was okay once I mixed the two together.

I spent a lot of time punching this bag before realizing that using the can of pie filling as a mallet worked a whole lot better.

My number one reason for loving my KitchenAid is how easy it is to whip cream. I can't believe I used to use a hand mixer...(and before that, just elbow grease and a whisk...how did I do it?!)
I added only just a little powdered sugar at the end...the pie filling was so sweet that I wanted to try to balance the sweetness of everything.

It still doesn't really feel like I'm making something edible at this point...

Well this is slightly better.

Still not sure about the edibility, but at least it looks pretty!

All in all, I was pleased with the results. I would definitely want to use real blueberries next time though. And use a proper cake pan. And use normal cheesecake pudding. And more graham cracker crumbs.
But hey, it looked Seahawks-y enough so mission accomplished. And of course as the world is undoubtedly aware by now, they won! There was much rejoicing. So who knows, maybe next year I'll start paying attention to games and actually learn enough to give a shit.

Any excuse to make a dessert, really.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

black (like my soul) magic cake

Okay. So obviously I'm the worst kind of writer. The kind who gets inspired to write only on a quarterly basis for about 1-2 weeks at a time. This yields approximately 8 weeks of productivity a year. There have been many times I meant to write in here, truly. But usually I came up with a feeble excuse not to. Usually involving disappointing food photos. However, today I decided to break out one set of disappointing photos, albeit two months later than originally planned.

It's foggy again today, so maybe fog just inspires me.

Today I'm showcasing my all-time favorite cake recipe: Black Magic Cake (with French Silk Frosting). Ever since I discovered this recipe, I rarely use any other. And so far I haven't found a better chocolate cake recipe in alllll the interwebz. This is the cake that made me ask myself a few years ago, "why the eff have I been using cake mix my whole life?". Like most of the food I make, I got it from allrecipes.com (my favorite recipe site...period). Usually when I cook with recipes, I read all the reviews and make changes according to what the reviewers say. But this recipe needs no modification. It's beautifully moist and the combination of the coffee and the cocoa give it a dark, intense flavor. That said, I've also served it to kids on multiple occasions and even they seemed to enjoy it. And it's easy to make too. Which is always a plus when I need to pull a last minute dessert out of my ass nowhere.

 strong brewed coffee (thanks, Keurig), white sugar, vanilla, baking soda, eggs, cocoa powder, baking powder, salt, buttermilk, vegetable oil, all-purpose flour


 combine the dry ingredients...


 after everything is mixed evenly, make a well in the center with a rubber spatula.


 (just wanted to take a minute to brag about the awesomeness of my liquid measuring cup plunger from ThinkGeek...I tried to find a link for it but they must no longer sell it...boo)


 add the wet ingredients to the well in the center of the bowl. (I usually try to let the coffee cool down a bit before using it, but it's still warm when I add it).


 mix on medium speed for a couple of minutes, being sure to incorporate both wet and dry; batter will be thin.

pour into greased and floured pans (when I'm making this for company I will often use cocoa powder instead of flour so it's uninterrupted chocolate brown goodness) and bake for 30-40 minutes on 350°.


ta-da!


after cooling for 10 minutes, run a spatula around the edges and remove the cake from the pans to cool on racks.


those streaks of flour are why I like to use cocoa powder...


finished product!


I kind of forgot to take pictures of the frosting process, sooo sorry about that...maybe I'll do a post about it sometime. But trust me, it's creamy and amazing. Again, recipe here.


Here are the step by step instructions for the cake:
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour two 9 inch round cake pans or one 9x13 inch pan.
  2. In large bowl combine flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Make a well in the center.
  3. Add eggs, coffee, buttermilk, oil and vanilla. Beat for 2 minutes on medium speed. Batter will be thin. Pour into prepared pans.
  4. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 30 to 40 minutes, or until toothpick inserted into center of cake comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes, then remove from pans and finish cooling on a wire rack. Fill and frost as desired.

Here's to a chocolatey future. :)

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

adventures in curry: easy mulligatawny

Well, the fog still persists and so does my urge to make copious amounts of comfort food. Today after I got home from work, husband and I took the dog to the beach. We're fortunate enough to have a state park only a couple of minutes away from our house so I try to take advantage of it whenever I can.
In the summer, it's crazy busy with Canadian tourists, but I love taking walks on the beach in the fall and spring, when it's blessedly free of other people. :) I know I'm too introverted, but it's just so peaceful when we have the whole beach to ourselves.

After returning home, I wanted to make something warm and cozy. So I turned to one of my favorite women of all time, and definitely my favorite blogger: The Pioneer Woman. I love P-Dub with all my heart. She's warm, witty, creative, and glamorous in a country kind of way. And her recipes never lead me astray. I decided on her Mulligatawny soup (and not only because she begins her post with a Seinfeld reference).

Easy Mulligatawny 

I've never been averse to curry, but I hadn't exactly sought out recipes that had curry in them, just because it had never seemed that delicious to me. This soup changed all that when I first discovered it a few years ago.


The photo really doesn't do it justice, not even a little bit. With diced chicken, an onion, a granny smith apple, curry powder, chicken broth, and half & half as its main ingredients, it's pretty amazing. The half & half gives it a beautiful velvety texture and the apple gives it a surprising sweet crunch. If you're looking to experiment with curry, this is definitely the way to begin. It's easy, has simple ingredients, and has a deliciously unique flavor.
Just be sure to wash all the dishes ASAP. Otherwise your house will smell like curry for one whole week as opposed to only one day. ;)

While I was going through my email after dinner, I found this amazeballsness in my weekly newsletter from ThinkGeek:
Catty Stacks Modular Cat Condos Catty Stacks Modular Cat Condos
Cats are sort of like babies in that they tend to love the bags and the boxes that new toys come in more than the actual toy themselves. Give a cat a box and she can play for hours trying to discover the untold secrets of every last corner of that cardboard mystery. Rather than wasting anymore time with toys, why not just get your cat her heart's desire: moar boxes!
Build your cat a box mansion with these stackable, superstrong Catty Stacks Modular Cat Condos. Big or small, nimble or not, Catty Stacks are made from strong Corrugated Ultraboard that can handle cats up to 20 pounds. Stack Catty Stacks high and low and your cat can explore, jump, play, hide, and scratch the day away.


 


Despite the fact that one of my cats doesn't fit the weight requirement (*ahem*...), this looks pretty rad. Some day I will buy a ton of these and make the most epic cat fort of all time.
Because that's what crazy cat ladies do. :D